South Africa

He giveth and he taketh away.

 

Around the middle of the year Jay-Z was commenting on how the ANC government was sent by God : 

 

“I agree with the priest [who had officiated during the opening of the roadshow] that the government is elected by God. Its way is the same way chosen by Jesus. Because the Father and Son elected this government to run the country, this government will do so forever.”

 

Four days later he was fired.

 

It's simple Math dammit!

 

Using his outstanding powers of deduction that have made him the bane of all South African criminals, Safety and Security Minister Charles Nqakula delivered his judgment on why there are so many hijackings taking place :  

 

“A boost to the economy resulted in people buying more vehicles, thus increasing the availability of such vehicles to offenders.”

 

Now there's detective work!

 

This of course is the same Charlie who convened an entire Press Conference just to announce that some wet mud had been found on some tires...

 

On the front-lines of the Class-struggle

 

Then we have those fearless defenders of the poor who are always prepared to move against class-enemies and repel any assault on the revolution!

 

"The hottest item for this summer are definitely All Star sneakers, Lacoste golf shits [sic] and the latest BMW M3, this toy promises to be a babe magnet wherever you travel to this summer.”

 

Yes, that would be the ANCYL. The same ANCYL who commented on the following :

 

“... they forget that this very ANCYL has in the past forsaken cheap popularity in defence of the president of the ANC when he was under intense attack from the media, labelled as neo-liberal, deranged because of his views on Zimbabwe and HIV/Aids. We were labelled parrots, conveyor belts, drum majorettes and henchmen, but we stood our ground because we believed in the principle.”

 

Conveyor belts, Drum majoretes, Henchman....hmmm

 

You put your right foot in...

 

Commenting on the dire situation in Delmas, DA MP Dan Maluleke railed against governmental incompetence and failure :

 

“No amount of clever government spinning or high-level visits will make a very simple fact go away: the outbreak of typhoid in the Delmas area could have been prevented. The people of Delmas have been given a raw deal because of bad planning and greed. They deserve better.”

 

Two days later he crossed the floor to join the ANC government.

 

Ask and you shall receive

 

Our man Jay-Z trying to get a little bit of 'rule of law' cred :

 

“The media speculation increased. It was impossible for me to defend myself. While the respondents did not hesitate to raid the premises of other persons for evidence and to summon persons to give information, no such investigatory tools were used directly against me. This, I have learnt, was on the grounds of ‘deference’ due to my position as deputy president. “Such deference was clearly misplaced. The respondents are under a constitutional duty to act without fear, favour or prejudice.”

 

So they did.

 

And the rest, as they say, is history!

 

If you want to add more of your own don't be shy skat!