South Africa

So I see the good times are still rolling in Cape Town. If you’re guessing by good times I mean chairs are being thrown around and knives are being drawn on the Mayor – you’re definitely on top of your game! Democracy (SA style of course) is truly on the march in Western Cape where democratic principles like Freedom of Speech and Freedom of Association are ably protected and defended by the ruling party :

Max Ozinsky, deputy secretary for the ANC in the Western Cape, said Zille had visited the area without telling the ANC councillor, Elese Depoutch, or the party's leadership about it. "She has been working in the area for the past six or seven years, and she has always supported those who disrupted the ANC meetings," said Ozinsky

Come now Max, tell us what you were really thinking…

“That cow, Zille dared to venture into our bastion of ANC meritocracy, who the hell does she think she is? The most esteemed Comrade Manto??” (my mistake, that last sentence contained an oxymoron - Manto meeting any part of her constituency is like the Pres. admitting he made some mistake in policy.)

Speaking of the Prez, I see he decided to issue for the following royal edict statement

“Today, we need to ask ourselves whether we, cadres of our movement, are still upholding the unimpeachable track record of Ellen Khuzwayo and other past ANC cadres," he wrote in his weekly letter. We need to ask ourselves whether the seeds of self-sacrifice they planted into our organization have not begun to fall on thorny, barren soil of self-interest!"

Which of course in the lingua franca of Delmas can be roughly translated into “Did you say the taxpayer will pay – in that case Pimp my ride!” or if you have the more refined Pretorian way of speaking “Hell yeah! Send that Beemer over thissaway!”.

Public Service. It’s tough but someone’s gotta do it.

Things have been getting way too low-brow here of late (politics! damn politics!). It's time to raise the bar and usher in some truly important news that effects you, the average South African! Let's turn to the Sunday Times for guidance, with it's fascinating "analysis" of our nubile guests from the far north entitled "Slavs to the rhythm" (yes, the puns continue in that vain throughout the story).

When an article starts off with the words "A horde of more-than-usually exotic dancers has swept into Cape Town from the icy steppes of Central Europe", you just know it's time to put on that thinking cap and get ready for an intellectual duel! But then of course the question arises - how can you up the ante on such a fine opening sentence? Well you deliver a fine quote of course - ‘Actually vee are preparing the men for the vife at home. Vee are helping the vives’- there ya go.

But personally the point that made me ponder most was this gem :

Rasputin definitely wouldn’t have been welcome at the House of Rasputin, a “sophisticated space” aimed at the “discerning patron looking for a progressive, up-market night out,” as the brochure boasts. Among other attractions (Ukrainian women), there is a “cognac cigar lounge”, where, according to the designer, Kobus Broodryk, gentlemen (and their partners) can expect “walnut-veneer finishing, teak floors, highly polished tiles, leather furnishings and warm, soft intelligent lighting”.

 

Intelligent lighting is exactly what’s needed when discussing, say, the role of the dual personality in the novels of Dostoevsky with a Ukrainian nymphet wearing a schoolgirl outfit and horn-rimmed spectacles. A Ukrainian who looks as young as Lo in the morning, thanks to the warm softness of the lighting.

 

The Local Government Elections are becoming just a bad dream...

(PS I would love to have seen reporter Caspar Greeff explain his expenses for this story to admin.)

This video is so wrong but it's so right ;)

(Hat tip Muti)

Political animal: Posters taking the mickey out of the March 1 municipal elections have appeared on the streets of Cape Town. Photo: Sophia Stander, Saturday Argus

Checkout this funny article about some pranksters who are putting up posters such as the one above all over CT. (hat-tip African Houseit)

...Eskom CEO Thulani Gcabashe. Taking sheer bluster and blind arrogance to the next level Gcabashe stated :

"If there is only one unit available and a problem occurs, there could be power shortages. And it is likely that for a portion of winter, we will have only one generator. So this is a wake-up call for citizens to live more sparingly."

 

Yes. A wake-up call. To live more sparingly. Thanks for that profound message of hope Thulani, I agree completely - let us all come togethor as citizens and make some sacrifices for the common good! Of course being CEO of Eskom means you have already been doing your own bit of sacrificing and will be ready to lead the charge towards this Utopia of common sacrifice and universal brotherhood, right? RIGHT? 

Of course you have! Witness you having been forced to accept a paltry package of R13-million over a period of 15 months, oh the humanity. Yes in "light" of your fine example I will definitely turn off the bathroom light before heading to bed...

Just doing my bit. For the children.

Had a good laugh when I read this story -

AN on-duty policeman who spent his Sunday afternoon on Blue Horizon Bay beach in Port Elizabeth in full uniform in the company of a "skimpily dressed" female "colleague", has residents of the coastal village fuming...Long-time Blue Horizon Bay resident Brian Bezuidenhout said he was furious to see the policeman arrive in a marked police vehicle – BNV 979 EC, no 63, belonging to the area crime combating unit in Struandale in Port Elizabeth – with a "skimpily dressed female" for a 2½-hour visit to the beach. "They were frolicking on the dunes. They walked along the beach and then as they walked towards the dunes they held hands and cuddled, and then disappeared behind the dunes. After about an hour they reappeared. The whole process took more than 2½ hours."...

 

(Here it comes) The policeman, whose name is known to The Herald, this week admitted to being in Blue Horizon Bay on Sunday afternoon "on official general duty with a constable colleague". He did not want to provide the name of the female constable in a small black outfit, but said he was an official swimming instructor in the police and took her for swimming instruction. However, Bezuidenhout said he had not seen the two, who had a small bag with them, enter the water. The operational commander of the crime combating unit, Superintendent Greg Botha, said the matter would be investigated.

 

A site that will be close to every South Africans heart. Words fail me...

Its a bit of a remix but I thought I'd pop it in anyway :

Little Vilakazi was in his nursery school class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up - fireman, policeman, salesman. Vilakazi, however, was being uncharacteristically quiet, so the teacher asked him about his father. "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll go out to the alley with some screaming gay-guy for a snogging session."

The teacher hurriedly set the other children to work on some coloring and took little Vilakazi aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?" "No," said Vilakazi, "he actually plays soccer for Bafana Bafana, but I was too embarrassed to admit it."

In honor of our soccer heroes!
 

I just watched excerpts of the interview with PW Botha and all I can say is that if you ever want to see denialism and historical revisionism at its finest then you should definitely watch this. Those who are easily nauseated by blatant hypocrisy or outright lying should avoid at all costs. A few of the choice quotes (News24) :

On why he never thought blacks were inferior : "Because many blacks, I repeat, many blacks and coloured people co-operated positively with government policy."

On how apartheid was not of his or the NP's making : "[Apartheid] did not originate with us...It's a very old policy and we didn't ask for it."

(This particular quote was said with a perfectly straight face and I was surprised irony didn't walk in the door and hit him in the face with a cricket bat) : "[The] disastrous policy of affirmative action destroys people's chances of providing a service to the country..."

I don't care if "he's still sharp as a razor" as some of the pundit class have called him. He still remains as before a windbag who has an inflated ego and a logical process so flawed that it would make a Standard 5 teacher despair.  

PW you'll always be the biggest clown in SA in my book!