South Africa

Things have been getting way too low-brow here of late (politics! damn politics!). It's time to raise the bar and usher in some truly important news that effects you, the average South African! Let's turn to the Sunday Times for guidance, with it's fascinating "analysis" of our nubile guests from the far north entitled "Slavs to the rhythm" (yes, the puns continue in that vain throughout the story).

 

When an article starts off with the words "A horde of more-than-usually exotic dancers has swept into Cape Town from the icy steppes of Central Europe", you just know it's time to put on that thinking cap and get ready for an intellectual duel! But then of course the question arises - how can you up the ante on such a fine opening sentence? Well you deliver a fine quote of course - ‘Actually vee are preparing the men for the vife at home. Vee are helping the vives’- there ya go.

 

But personally the point that made me ponder most was this gem :

 

Rasputin definitely wouldn’t have been welcome at the House of Rasputin, a “sophisticated space” aimed at the “discerning patron looking for a progressive, up-market night out,” as the brochure boasts. Among other attractions (Ukrainian women), there is a “cognac cigar lounge”, where, according to the designer, Kobus Broodryk, gentlemen (and their partners) can expect “walnut-veneer finishing, teak floors, highly polished tiles, leather furnishings and warm, soft intelligent lighting”.

 

Intelligent lighting is exactly what’s needed when discussing, say, the role of the dual personality in the novels of Dostoevsky with a Ukrainian nymphet wearing a schoolgirl outfit and horn-rimmed spectacles. A Ukrainian who looks as young as Lo in the morning, thanks to the warm softness of the lighting.

 

The Local Government Elections are becoming just a bad dream...

 

(PS I would love to have seen reporter Caspar Greeff explain his expenses for this story to admin.)