South Africa

After a bit of a drought in good material since his book appeared, the master (Tom Eaton, duh!) has returned to form. Here's part of his latest article to give you a taste :  

Those who watch Top Billing are not, as a rule, exposed to disturbing concepts like multi-lingualism. Indeed, generations of selective breeding and some ferociously opportunist and cheekily genocidal shenanigans by Great Granddaddy on the Reef in the 1880s have combined to form a protective cocoon around them, keeping at bay the horror of the middle-class world, with its vacuum cleaners and swimming-pool filters and universities, and all the other repulsive things that poor people get up to.

Of course, the extremely rich do not have time to watch Top Billing, being too busy having Moët enemas while performing carnal sleight of hand on senior government officials; and so it was only the very rich, the desperately gauche and the maniacally revolutionary (who watch the programme to reinvigorate flagging esprit de corps while making nail-bombs in their basements) who witnessed first-hand some weeks ago the use of our 12th official language: East Rand New Money.

The property developer and his wife — known, in ERNM, as his wahf — had erected on the shores of a large lake their own little patch of heaven. That their patch of heaven seemed to have been stolen intact from a Tuscan-themed Las Vegas indoor putt-putt course didn’t bother them a bit. Even the “porm trees”, sad drooping little Levantine exiles transplanted into the muddy soil of a strange continent, conspired to heighten the overwhelming kitsch. They were real, but they may as well have been plastic...

 

It only gets better, definitely go read the rest for yourself!