South Africa

The Rapture is well and truly under way....er...at least it was when I last checked the M&G. Coming down from the Northern Suburbs to deliver The Word, is his holiness Tom Eaton. Let us turn to this weeks article by his holiness :

 

"It should have been repulsive, this giant self-administered orgasm of righteousness branded Live 8. One should have been appalled that the masses were urged to action by Madonna, the hatchet-faced poster-girl of everything that has been repulsive in the West for the past two decades; who, despite her heavily publicised modesty, still hasn’t thought it necessary to change her name and, therefore, still signs things as the Mother of God.

Likewise, it should have been infuriating to see plump, educated twentysomethings with good teeth and expensive sneakers storming what were very polite barricades outside the G8 summit in Glen-eagles; their absenteeism budgeted for and allowed by the same economic system they were trying to overthrow. Nothing like damning Western capitalism when you’re fetching your welfare cheque and heading pubwards..."

 

PREACH brother....:

 

"Which is why this columnist will say no more about any of it, except to hope that rising sea levels and “military assimilation for cultural integration” by the Chinese spares us from the inevitable Geldof events that lie ahead: LiveAte in 2025, protesting the practice of raising gargantuan pasty white pigs and chickens in the low gravity of moon-farms; 2045’s LiveAids, a reaction to the discovery that HIV/Aids is spread by sex rather than poverty and is currently wiping out the teenage and prepubescent populations of Britain and the United States; and finally LiveAid in 2065, a desperate plea to the wealthy countries of Africa and Asia to send food and money to the flyblown war-ravaged wastes of Western Europe...."

 

Didn't hear it myself but let it never be said that the greatest minds do not reside in sunny SA :

 

"But there is hope. Last Friday, SAfm hosted a phone-in show about the escalating petrol price. One listener, her synapses crackling, phoned in breathlessly to ask, “Has anyone ever considered the idea of developing an alternative to petrol?” With a single stroke of brilliance, she had answered her own questioned, and saved the meek."

May you be struck down if you do not read the article in its entirety!